Elvis Has Not Left the Building

For the past two days, Elvis Presley, Fabio and Marilyn Monroe were at my book fair. Derek Jeter also hung out at the men’s section. Bozo the Clown decided to stay home, as the high-class office building where the book fair was held didn’t permit clowning around. They all got a lot of attention, especially Fabio, his bare chest in broad, full view. Women asked how much it would cost them to take Fabio and Elvis home (funny…not many men were interested in Marilyn, even with the slinky red gown she wore. Many of them were lawyers in suits and ties. But get them in a pair of jeans…). When I quoted a price, none took me up on the offer. They’d frown and walk away. (“What price, fame?”)

“But wait,” you say. “Elvis and Marilyn are dead.” And you’d be right. In fact, none of these celebrities uttered a word, except for Elvis. He says a few things now and then – three phrases, to be exact. “Thanks for letting me talk to you,” “Hi, I’m Elvis Presley,” and his trademark “Thank you very much.” He’s not much on reading, though. Never spends a dime at my book fairs, despite the great selection of books that surround him. Just stands there in his gold lamé suit, grinning. He speaks when I turn him on, and quiets when I turn him off. The switch is hidden behind his left elbow. (Ever met a man you could turn on and off by a simple switch on his arm, ladies? No offense, men!)

If you haven’t guessed by now, my “celebrities” are life-size, cardboard cutouts. And they look real enough to slink up to and chat with a while. I set them up at most of the book fairs I stage for the single purpose of drawing attention. It works every time.

It amazes me how much interest these cardboard creatures draw. Immortalized and frozen in time, a simple photograph enlarged to six feet tall creates reactions that put a grin on my face whenever a book lover asks how much it would cost to take home a fold-up piece of stiff paper! Last week, female employees of an assisted living facility where I held a book fair took photos of themselves standing with Fabio. I didn’t care – they were having a blast as they admired the hunk and shopped for the products I’d brought.

My point is obvious and I’m, in my own way, taking advantage of it: people are fascinated by and interested in celebrities. They fantasize. They drool. And they stop and look at my books for sale. It’s all in the presentation.

Perhaps one day, I can arrange to have Fabio at a book fair, live and in person. But wait, first he’d have write a book. (Does he know how to read? With a mane like that, does he even have to?)

Until next time, happy reading!