Monday, May 07, 2012

In Sickness and In Health, the Prince Reigns

A friend shared some news with me this week about the health of her young son that left me numb and silent, thinking of the difficult road ahead for her family. She is a woman of faith, with innate strength that will carry her through. First she and her husband must sort through the turmoil of the diagnosis of Tourette Syndrome.

They have had their 4-year-old son undergo numerous tests the past few months, trying to determine what was wrong. He’s been developmentally behind. He’s shown symptoms that may have been mere allergies. In the end, it was an unexpected diagnosis that has sent their world spinning and now will change their family in ways unknown at this stage.

My friend shared the news with me on the same day other friends posted photos on their Facebook pages in memory of their only son, who would have been 28 that day – he had died four years ago of an incurable brain tumor. A Christian family, as well, the tragedy was overwhelming to them and members of our church because he was a young man full of life, of faith, one who had served in other countries on mission trips as a teenager. Bright smile, bright eyes and a seemingly bright future.

As I processed their situations in my head, I was reminded of another life-altering occurrence in the life of a third friend, years ago. She and I were members of a writing group, she an editor at a major Christian publishing house. She had her first child at age 27. It was an exciting time, one shared with group members amid writing projects, her tummy larger each month, growing with life inside. But her world was turned upside-down when the beautiful baby girl born to her and her husband had Down Syndrome.

The fairy tales we hear as young girls talk of princes who rescue (we) damsels, and the loving couples head off into the sunset, happily ever after. Nothing in those tales prepares us for the tragedies and losses that are more often the reality than a glass slipper fitting or a pot of gold tangible at the end of a rainbow.

Yet, the life of a Christian can often be one of suffering. The loss of a child surely the hardest among earthly trials. I’ve been fortunate that, thus far, my offspring have not suffered from severe health issues. My own pain has been of another kind, unplanned endings of relationships – the princes in reality not those of fairy tales, not the happily ever after hoped and prayed for. And life goes on.

As Christians, we know that the Son of God, Jesus Christ, suffered greatly during His time on Earth, savagely beaten and tortured as a sacrifice to atone for our sins, past, present and future. He knew what it was like to lose someone he loved (Lazarus), and saw the tremendous suffering in the world as he healed the sick throughout his earthly ministry. He sees and understands our human pains.

Each of us has sad stories to tell, of loss, of suffering, of feeling ‘cheated’ out of what we thought was supposed to happen. We can’t always know the reasons why losses happen the way they do. We question. We rant and rail in anger at the unfairness of life, of course. And it’s damn hard at times! Yes, devastating. But God can handle our anger, the same way a loving parent comforts a toddler who might be crying and angry over something unfair in his or her little world. Life is not about ‘us,’ but about how we relate to God and to others, and what we make of what we’ve been given.

We are called to have faith, turn to Him in our pain, and trust Him in the plan He has laid out. God sees the big picture that we cannot. He knows why he put each and every one of us on this Earth, and what lies ahead. He does indeed make good out of bad – or mixes good in with the bad, providing little miracles if you watch for them.

I don’t know why there is Terrette Syndrome, Down Syndrome or brain tumors in this world. I don’t know why some babies are born perfectly healthy, and others’ lives end on the day they enter the world -- or why some lose their jobs, and others go on to make millions, why some marriages end, and others are lifelong commitments.

What I do know is that God is greater than any of our tragedies. And this life on Earth is only temporary. We have to approach what life throws at us with courage, strength and determination. We have to hold our heads up, live with integrity, honesty, doing just the very best we can. We were made in His image. We’ve got the strength of the Father in our veins. Let us not be so overwhelmed by our pain that we can’t see the love and blessings He provides through friends, family and even strangers as we navigate the emotional terrain of this (sometimes very ungodly) world.

In the end, the only real Prince there is resides in Heaven. And that’s the best, truest fairy tale of all.


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